We start the episode with Happy Homemaker Ichabod doing his chores while signing Rule Britannia. Odd choice of song considering he actively fought that rule and was instrumental in overturning it here on this side of pond until that whole Witness thing got in the way. But he probably hasn’t had time to watch Empire and learn the Drip Drop song yet, so I’ll give it to him. He brags to Abbie about his Bedfordshire Clanger, one of those god awful dishes that destroyed England’s culinary reputation around the world. (In George Carlin’s version of hell, the English are the cooks for a reason) It’s a dinner and desert all in one inedible crust. Fortunately he burns it and they decide to order take out. Close call there Abs.
But hey, Ichabod is TRYING, something he never did last season, so we are already seeing an improvement. The writers are TRYING, dammit.
Pandora, this season’s Big Bad is not idle. She dutifully conjures up this week’s monster, a shadow wraith that feeds on secrets and then kills you. Seems Shadow only likes the secrets of good guys, because he snuffs a man who is trying to blow the whistle on a scheme to raid the city’s pension fund. The case naturally winds up in Abbie’s capable hands.
Enter Abbie’s new boss to replace the late, great I-forget-his-name-he-was-gone-so-fast. Except Abbie’s new boss is a former flame from the academy by the name of Daniel Reynolds. Hilarity ensues as Ichabod does everything but hoist his leg on Abbie to mark her as his in front of the new/old guy.
But we don’t have time for Abbie’s love life just yet, we have a shadow demon to catch. As Ichabod is slinking away from Abbie and her flame, he sees something in the shadows before he interrupted by Pandora in her civilian clothes. it’s just a glimpse, but it’s enough for our brainy patriot to know something is doing down in the shadows.
Running the dead guy’s last phone call through some software that Abbie must have borrowed from CSI:Cyber, they hear background noises that Abbie is able to enhance to the point where they can identify a a couple of the dead guy’s coworkers and Shadow doing the obligatory evil hiss of “I will kill.” Shiver.
Putting two and two together to come up with five, Ichabod realizes that he has heard of this before, in Grace Dixon’s journals. YES! Grace! we get to see her again! Yay!
Unfortunately my joy was short lived because not only did we get a Grace flashback, we get a Betsy Ross flashback too. Bleh.
I’m over Betsy Ross. I was over her from the moment she opened her mouth and a 21st century woman popped out. Whoever told Nikki Reed she could act was being sarcastic. Yes, she looks good in a corset, but so did Katrina and we all know how that ended; with the ratings in the toilet. The crapizoid writing doesn’t help. Stop with BR and give us more Pandora.
Anyway we learn that General Howe wasn’t just content to root out spies, he turned one of them into the shadow wraith that is now stalking Sleepy Hollow. Ichabod first sorta encountered the creature when he had to extract BR and a couple of other spies from Howe’s establishment. Shadow killed the two men but unfortunately missed BR. Shadow could have done us all a service there, but he didn’t, so he must die.
Abbie and Ichabod go to the home of one of the coworkers they heard on the phone call and encounter Shadow. Shadow starts to suck their secrets from them and kill them when the coworker runs. Shadow hitches a ride with coworker and causes him to crash at high speed. Score is now 2-0 in favor of the wraith. Not looking good for our heroes.
Meanwhile in the B plot, Corbin Jr knows something weird is going on, his first clue was being turned into a wendingo last season. He takes some stuff over to Jenny’s trailer and discovers it trashed. He wants to be part of whatever it is Jenny and Abbie do and carry on his father’s work, but Jenny is like, “Dude this stuff kinda bites.” She sends him packing.
But fate has a serious hate-on for Mills’ and Corbins, so poor Corbin Jr gets kidnapped by a former associate of Jenny’s who wants something from her. She finds them out in the woods, around the same spot where Irving and the show died last season. She and her former associate insult each other and then fight.
Can I just say Lynnie Greenwood knows how to make a stage fight look good? There are a few actresses on TV who have parts that regularly require this kind of activity and they can’t pull it off. This fight is short but believable. Jenny even acts a bit winded afterwards. THANK YOU!
Jenny gives the guy the object he wanted, which looks suspiciously like a lump of coal that bad little girls get in their Christmas stockings. (Do not ask me how I know this.) The guy limps off and Jenny frees Corbin.
Yeah I’m shipping them now. Good work SH, you sucked me in again.
Back to the A plot. Ichabod decides that a brightly lit room with no shadows is the safest place place to be from a shadow wraith. Since Sleepy Hollow, a town of over 100,000 people, has no brightly lit rooms, he makes one using his colonial electrician skills.
Seriously, Ichabod keeps complaining that he has no place in the modern world, but he picked up on electricity real fast. he set up a very artsy looking ring of lights in a warehouse with gorgeous exposed brickwork. It looks like something off HGTV.
Abbie brings the last remaining coworker to the ring of lights and they seat her in the middle. No magazines, no TV, no bathroom. I hoping this is a short term solution.
Ichabod is the only colonial to understand electricity, the wraith sabotages his lights by shorting out the electrical box. Abbie has to save Ichabod’s butt, and the rest of him too, with flares. She urges him to think back to the day Betsy Ross got away from Shadow, how did Betsy lose the wraith? Ichabod realizes that Betsy knew the wraith’s name. Ichabod taunts Shadow with his name, Marcus Collins, until Shadow stops being a wraith and is just one really ugly dude. Ichabod kills Shadow, but Shadow deserves it for leaving BR alive.
So the pension fund is saved and Abbie gets heaps of praise from her former-flame-now-boss. Boss Dude tells her they can go far together, but Abbie just smiles mysteriously and leaves the office. She knows she’s stuck in Sleepy Hollow until the clock runs down on the Witness gig.
Then we get our two ships being all shippy together. Corbin Jr and Jenny share a beer outside her trailer and discuss going after the lump of coal she gave up to save his ass. This is the beginning of a beautiful friendship and that clicking sound you hear is the fanfic writers typing away furiously.
Ichabod shares a drink with Abbie on the porch of her perfect little cottage and he finally coaxes her into reveling her secret that Shadow almost killed her for. She knows where her dad is and she has sorta stalked him. Even Jenny doesn’t know she found their deadbeat dad. I hope we get to meet Papa Mills before the show gets cancelled.
The show ends with Pandora watering her rose bush/tree. The tree grows huge in seconds and I suspect this tree packs even more of a punch than the Walloping Willow from the Harry Potter books. Tree huggers may want to avoid this area for a while.
- Corbin makes an excellent addition to the team and his chemistry with Jenny rivals Icahabbie. *heart eyes*
- Lots of Ichabbie. Boss dude may throw a monkey wrench into the works, but right now Ichabbie is firing on all cylinders. *double heart eyes*
- Jenny can throw down. I want to see more of her kicking ass.
- Pandora is a very cool villian
Two words: Betsy Ross. I think the writers need to realize that they just can’t write for white women and kill her. Maybe in the hands of a more talented actress BR could have been fun, but Nikki Reed is not that actress. Nikki Reed isn’t even really an actress, she’s a couple of boobs smashed into a corset.